Posts tagged ‘Existentialism’

May 22, 2011

Million dollar questions $$$

maybe if my ♥ stops beating.. It won’t hurt this much..♬ now playing

This is the part where I am lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to sleep, and then I’m over-thinking, worse scenarios in my mind and memories playing….

Who am I?
What’s my life’s purpose?
What’s wrong with me?
Where has my head been?

Mid-life crisis much??
NO. It’s too early. I’m not even 20!
But something is up and I have to figure it out before I go bonkers.

I don’t know what has happened to me, what I’ve become or what I’ve been becoming.
I didn’t go to church today because I think it would be unfair to attend when my heart and head’s not in it.

I’ve read a lot of books.. Purpose driven life, The 5 people you meet in heaven.. They were good.. And it may work for some (or most) people but not for me.
You know that saying,
“Never regret a single moment of the journey. If it wasn’t your destination, it was preparation.”
But what am I preparing? Where is my path? Aint I supposed to have two paths? The left and right? Then why does it feel like I’m taking a detour?

Why am I so confused?
These voices.. It always echo but never actually got inside my head. And I’ve been in denial.. But FOR WHAT? 😦

God only knows what we’re fighting for ♬
But I can’t even talk to Him.
I’ve had too many ifs and buts and 0 answers. NONE. NADA. NULL.

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